My How a Week Can Change Things...

Until last week when I got the chance to see my roommate and really spill my heart to her about some things going on with me emotional over my past, my present and my future...I began to be released of this pressure of having to be perfect and it helped just to be honest and real. I told her that I had not talked to Lynette in a while and I just really wanted that time so she went on to make it happen. I am so thankful to her for pushing me to do that, because she saw the desperate need for me to talk with my spiritual mentor. I got that opportunity to finally express some hurt and pain I have never dealt with. It was good afterward, but soooo painful to just say it to her face to face. I was fighting tears because I know that what decisions I make in dealing with these types of feelings, pains, scars, and such will be a reflection on my character when I am trying to minister to others. But the more I talk to others about how to reach people the more I realized I needed the same things to be reached and expressed love. (Below is my wonderful mentor and my niece Lauren)Then on Friday night I got the priviledge of some "down" time so I went to see the Lady Bucs play some Volleyball which they kicked butt! I just sat and was a fan this game, but following that I got some one-on-one time with my Fish. JP and I went to Moe's and then to see a movie. I needed this time because yet another person in my life who seeks to love me and express his concern for my well-being in all areas of my life. I am so thankful for him. (Below - JP modeling on the beach - haha - not bad to look at either, huh!??! haha!)

Once I found out I didn't have to go on the mission trip to Tennessee ... I jumped in the car and drove to Darlington for the night. I got to go to the Sweet Potato Festival for a while, see my Mom, Dad, Brother & Family, and dinner with Aunt Polly and Granny. I also got to spend some time with Granny doing things around her house and talking about life. She is my hero! I am starting to worry about her though because of her health and she is slowing down physically and mentally. As much as I dread Darlington some times -- this weekend was so needed and I loved every second of it. :) (Below: Travis eating some Oreos with his Aunt Tam!; Me and my two God children - Jacob, Tam, Joseph)
Yesterday, I returned to work and to the my Charleston family! I went to Jachin's 2 yr old Birthday party at Ci Ci's Pizza. It was good to be back in my somewhat normal state of mind and loving my family. (Below: Me and Jachin at his party!)

To feel so far from grace and love is not a good feeling at all, but its been incredible to see how God works all things for His good according to His purpose. I am definitely not fine or better or great, but I am on my way to healing from a lot of wounds. I still have a lot of anger, hurt, selfishness and pride in me. Keep praying for me.

For now -- I'm off...

Let's go LADY BUCS SOCCER vs. CCU and LADY BUCS VOLLEYBALL vs. High Point!